Family Ties That Bind

Yesterday, my mother’s family had a family reunion. I didn’t go. But I have attended a few times in the past. It was interesting to see people that you may have seen regularly during your life and get reconnected to some people you barely remember. Then there are some folks you meet that you have never met, discovering that you are family connected. Earthly family connections are powerful, influential, interesting and challenging. Maybe some of you have the memories of family members coming up to pinch your cheek or stories of I knew you when you were this high!
Once I preached a in a church in South Carolina, not too far from where we lived when I came into the ministry. I was invited for a series of meetings and on the first night there, there were many people of my family that came out to see what was going on. I thought they were coming to see if God had truly changed my life. Trust me, my life needed changing! But one dear relative left a lasting impression on me. After the sermon, she was introduced to me as someone that saw me as a child when I was about three years of age. I didn’t remember her. But I’ve never forgot her since that night. She smiled and said she wanted to ask me just one question. I anticipated a question such as, “How did you know God wanted you to be a preacher?” Or “What has changed your life in such a dramatic way?” Either way, I was getting my mind ready to give an account for the hope that is in me. Then she said, “Can you still sing You Ain’t Nothing But A Hound Dog?” Evidently, when I was three I was a dynamic little Elvis impersonator! I wondered what in the world that had to do with spiritual things.
Our message today brings us into an encounter between Jesus and his family. We pick up the narrative in Mark 3. The authority of Jesus has been a major theme for the Gospel writer. So far in our studies in Mark we have come to the understanding of His authority over disease and the demonic, the forgiveness of sin and over religious tradition, and the calling of disciples and granting them His authority. But how does the authority of being and becoming a disciple work itself out in our family connections? This certainly can challenge us in our spiritual journey with God. Let’s read the passage before us today and seek to discover the Lord’s word for us.

And He came home, and the crowd gathered again, to such an extent that they could not even eat a meal. When His own people heard of this, they went out to take custody of Him; for they were saying, “He has lost His senses.” (Mark 3:20-21)

Then His mother and His brothers arrived, and standing outside they sent word to Him and called Him. A crowd was sitting around Him, and they said to Him, “Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are outside looking for You.” Answering them, He said, “Who are My mother and My brothers?” Looking about at those who were sitting around Him, He said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:31-35)

ULTIMATE SPIRITUAL AUTHORITY IS FOUND LIVING AS A FAMILY UNDER THE AUTHORITY AND IN THE HOUSEHOLD OF GOD.

I. FAMILIES CAN BE THE MOST CRITICAL AND SKEPTICAL OF GOD’S WORK IN US. (20-21)

...When his own people heard....they went...to take custody of Him...

Here is the image of the first broken family where self-interest and self-preservation rules. After the fall in the garden, Adam shifted the blame for his actions on the woman for the influence she had over him and ultimately blamed God for her presence in his life. Adam was hiding from God and did not want God looking for him or looking at him. God’s presence is not welcome to the sinner.
The family of Jesus did not like the unwelcome attention. They thought Jesus was becoming a spectacle and was drawing attention to them. And not all of the attention was positive in their view. The family name was at stake. But was the family name all that reputable in the first place? Remember the scandalous context surrounding the birth of Jesus?
Even though Jesus did not please His family and meet their expectations, God the Father was very pleased with Him. How difficult it is to live up to the expectations of a family who are flawed on their very best day. They went to take custody of Him. They went to bring Him into account. This is the flaw in human thinking. We think we can manage God.
We can be encouraged to know that our identity as Christ followers is found in what God says. The crowds were there to hear God’s word revealed by Christ. They wanted to know what God had to say. They wanted to know who He was and who they were. So do I. I am not who my people say I am. I am who God says I am. My identity as a redeemed follower of Christ says that my family connections are influential but they are not determinative. I am not locked into my walk with God being bound to my family history. The way I have always been treated in my family is not an excuse for my ungodly behavior. God has something better in mind.
When family loyalty is our first consideration in our obedience to God, we must evaluate who is God to us. Our great challenge in the church of our day is to hear what God is saying to us and be obedient to His direction and not be bound in family tradition and church ownership issues. The world hears us say we follow God but they often see us protect earthly family interests. They often see us choose earthly preferences over eternal principles. Sometimes radical discipleship will embarrass people and we can be accused of being religious fanatics.

II. THOSE WHO BEST KNOW US CAN THINK THE WORST OF US. (20-21)

…for they were saying, “He has lost His senses”…

Here is the result of sin in family relationships where discouragement is the norm. We see this throughout biblical history. Cain envied the favor that God had for Abel’s sacrifice, he acted upon this in the ultimate discouraging way. He killed him. Wherever you see envy on display in God’s people, you will see every evil thing. Discouragement is deadly. Consider Joseph’s brothers when they realized he was wearing a symbol of Jacob’s favor. They wanted him to disappear. Consider David’s brothers as he entered the place where the army of Israel was paralyzed by the fear of Goliath. His brother told him in effect to go back to his job as the tender of sheep. The favor of God upon the life of a person can offend some of the family. Not everyone rejoices when we walk with God.
The reason they thought Jesus had lost His mind was that they were using theirs as a standard. The natural and the supernatural mind do not think alike. Spiritual thoughts are produced by spiritual minds. Without the mind of Christ there are no Christlike thoughts which produce Christlike actions.
The authority of Christ was on display and being questioned by those who needed to be under it. This passage about the family interaction is built around the passage about the religious leaders accusing Him of being in league with Satan. This was not lost on His family. The language here seems to suggest that they were caught up in believing the worst about Jesus. And they came to do something about it. Spiritual truth is not proclaimed in a neutral environment. Often there is open warfare in our families. Jesus has said as much when He said that He did not come to bring peace, but a sword. Peace comes after the war.
We can be a source of embarrassment to those who are convicted by the righteousness of Christ. Our worship of and the following of Jesus can be embarrassing to some family members, even convicting, resulting in downplaying the reality of transformed lives. Family members may say to a recently converted relative, “I don’t know you anymore. You act like a different person.” They would be right. The convert has been born again.
As a church family we will be challenged to live differently than other people’s recollections. A renewed church will be different and act differently. Don’t be afraid to follow Christ. Don’t be afraid to gather as a crowd to hear the word of the Lord. Don’t be afraid to do the will of God.

III. OUR FAMILIES CAN BE OUR GREATEST ENCOURAGEMENT OR OUR GREATEST HINDRANCE IN MINISTRY. (31-32)

...standing outside they sent (word) to Him, and called Him...

The broken fellowship in the first family was the result of the fractured relationship with God. After Cain killed Abel, God confronts him. In Genesis 4:9-11, the word brother is used four times. This concept of brotherhood has a high priority with God. Sin is terminal spiritual disease. Sin destroys brotherhood. Sin destroys sonship. In a sense, Adam and Eve lost two sons when Cain killed Abel. One was dead and one was banished. Sin is genetic and without the intervention of God, it will destroy the entire human race. Apart from God, there is only a natural bond, never a spiritual binding together.
The natural inclination in the heart of a natural man is to be a discourager because life without Christ is discouraging. Perhaps you have been told all your life that you can’t be more than you are. That you never would amount to anything. That you never quite measured up to family standards. Home, home on the range may be the place in a song where seldom is heard a discouraging word. But most of us never grew up there. Is there a better way? For those without Christ we find our hope in Him.
Christ was not distracted by His family’s presence or enslaved by the need for their approval. Once I gave a major portion of my life to playing bluegrass music. We were active for a while in performing at various venues and traveling to bluegrass festivals in three states. We thought we needed to record an album to sell at the locations so we worked one whole winter on that project, traveling to a studio and recording late at night at least once a week. After we received the finished product, I gave my daddy a copy. After he listened to it I asked him what he thought. He said, “It was okay... but don’t quit your day job.” Approval can be an idolatrous tyrant. It can rob us of the joy of serving and working for Christ if all that we are doing it for is to earn someone else’s approval.
Sometimes the presence of our families can shape and influence our ministry for better or worse. The family of Jesus sent a message to Him. This translation says literally, they sent to Him. What did they send? Word is italicized but not in the original text. This is significant. Our families can send a message without sending a word. A glare or a stare can send us despair. Or when our families ignore us or shun us or shut us out it can be very painful. Fear of man is a strong motivation for ministry. Fear of God is a better one.
Unity in the church flows from unified commitment to Christ in the home. When godly unity at home is non-existent, you often see the conflict displayed in the church. When Christ reveals His purpose to a person, He commands them to take that witness home. When this happens, we must understand that our families often misunderstand us if they are not Christ followers. This is to be expected. After all, there are two different worldviews at war. But disunity can also happen in Christian families. We can have division between husband and wife, parent and child, and brother and sister when it comes to spiritual principles. If these are not resolved according to God’s word, they will not get better by themselves. What often happens is that we tend to ignore the disunity in our families and come to church as though everything is fine and become hardened and calloused to the change of heart that God requires. As a result, we see families drift apart and begin to treat each other as though Christ and His word is not relevant to their lives. The church will ultimately pay a price for compartmentalization of Christianity.
Am I saying that a family has to be perfect to be a part of church unity? No, but a family must learn how to appropriate the grace of the gospel, practicing forgiveness, and living in love to be a part of church unity. We live out in community what is designed to be practiced in the family.

IV. OUR STRONGEST FAMILY TIES ARE FOUND IN GOD’S FAMILY. (33-35)

...whoever does the will of God, …is My brother and sister and mother.

Blood connections are strong family ties. Once again in our passage in Genesis 4:9-11, God mentions the blood of Abel in two places. Once He says that the voice of Abel’s blood is crying out. It is like it is a living thing. In fact, God’s word says that life is in the blood. God sees life as precious and blood connections as strong. The old saying, “He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother,” speaks to a painting of a little boy carrying his brother around. This is the ideal for the family of God. Some people outside the family of God will argue that their closest family connection is their brother or sister or mother or father. But these are temporary and bound to this world.
When all you have is an earthly family your hope has a limit. Our physical existence here is fading away. What will the non-Christian do when their loved one dies? What hope do they have of an eternity with God and with one another? To be a child of the King, you must be born of the King. Our earthly hopes are binding to this world. Our earthly hopes have limits. Eternal hope is found in an eternal God.
The blood of Christ is our ultimate bonding agent. It is what holds the universe together. The blood of Christ is the cross of Christ. It is here that the people of God become a family. When we realize that His sacrifice is pleasing to God and His blood brings us into His family, we can be bound to the family of God by receiving His forgiveness for our sin. The blood of Christ brings about abundant living. It brings about restoration of broken things.
Overcoming fractured family realities requires that we do the will of God. In my translation (NASB) of the Bible, there are 365 entries in my concordance that refer to the word peace. God’s word reveals God’s will. Among these references we are told that we are to seek peace and pursue it. We are told that peace is a gift of the Holy Spirit. And we are also told that peace may not be possible in all instances. Some people would rather have the conflict. Some people want to hold on to their bitterness. But we are told that we as the church have a family obligation to one another. Romans 12:18 says, If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Our part is to actively seek and make peace, whenever possible. This is the will of God. Be prayerful. Be patient. God is able to change the hardest of hearts when people surrender to His authority.
As the church, we must conduct ourselves as children of God, pursuing our Father’s business. In multi-generational businesses, the ones that are the most successful are the ones that adapted to changing times without abandoning the foundational principles as to why they do what they do. How are we to do the will of God? We begin by knowing God, hearing, heeding and doing God’s word. We live out His love. We are heirs to the Father’s kingdom. We live by living with Him and living for Him.

Our So What for Today:

-If we really understand who we are in Christ, joint heirs and children of the Most High God, we will take better care of one another.
-There no shortcuts and detours in our relationships with God and one another.
-Jesus rejects earthly family authority as having ultimate authority.

ULTIMATE SPIRITUAL AUTHORITY IS FOUND LIVING AS A FAMILY UNDER THE AUTHORITY AND IN THE HOUSEHOLD OF GOD.